


Can't go home

by azuko



Series: Atypical Cazzie Fics [1]
Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 19:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21325210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azuko/pseuds/azuko
Summary: "Where will you go? I could try and make room for-""I'll figure it out. I always do." She said with a shrug. Her grandma just nodded in response.Izzie just knew one thing. That she couldn't go home.
Relationships: Casey Gardner & Izzie, Casey Gardner/Izzie
Series: Atypical Cazzie Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539694
Comments: 29
Kudos: 618





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoo so this is set a few weeks after the events of season 3, I guess?  
Anyways, this is the first Atypical thing I finish writing. I'm planning on splitting this one shot into two parts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the first bit. I am still trying to get used to writing the characters, but I hope you enjoy!  
Let me know if there are any mistakes lol

"Where are you going, Iz?" The little boy's lip trembled, and Izzie smiled and leaned down, patting his head. "Where are you going to sleep? Why don't you stay at grandma's with us?" He was clutching his teddy bear in one hand and tugging at Izzie's shirt with the other, his eyes getting bigger.  
  
"_Shh_. It doesn't matter, I'll pick you up in a few days, okay?"  
  
"Where is mom...?" He whimpered. It was scary for them. They didn't understand. They didn't get it.  
  
"Don't worry about her, she'll come back. She just has something to do." _Yeah, she just has to get drunk with her boyfriend and forget that she has four kids_. Izzie hated it. She could barely keep up with her siblings' needs and school at the same time and she didn't want them to have the same sad childhood as her. But, unfortunately, that was their life.  
  
"I wanna go home..." He sniffled, burying his face in the teddy bear, and Izzie kissed his forehead, stroking his hair and smiling faintly.  
  
"Come on, I won't be gone long. And I'll check on you, so you better behave, okay? We'll go back home in a few days."  
  
He nodded and looked at her, while she gave him another kiss on the forehead.  
  
"I love you. Now go to sleep, it's late. Your sisters are already asleep." She gave him a reassuring smile, and the little boy nodded his head again and ran to his bed.  
  
Izzie sighed, her smile disappearing from her face, as she picked up her bag, turning around. She suddenly heard the floor creak, followed by her grandmother's voice.  
  
"Darling?"  
  
Izzie sighed and turned around.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Where will you go? I could try and make room for-"  
  
"I'll figure it out. I always do." She said with a shrug. Her grandma just nodded in response, getting closer to her and pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
  
"You're such a good kid. I'm proud of you, Izzie. I really am. Don't worry about the kids. I'll take good care of them." Izzie looked down at her feet, her lip trembling, trying not to cry. She had to look strong. She _had to be_ strong. But it was so _fucking_ hard sometimes. "You should go to your friend. I know you don't tell me much, but..." Izzie's eyes widened. "She seems to have a positive effect on you. You seem happier." The girl bit ber lip and nodded slightly. Around Casey, she didn't have to pretend. She could just be herself, and she felt warm, loved and... _right_. She felt at home, and it must have been obvious if even her grandma had noticed it.  
  
"Bye, grandma." Izzie gave her a hug before walking out the door. And, despite what her grandmother suggested, and despite what she wanted to do, she knew couldn't go to Casey's.  
  
She had nowhere to go. She walked aimlessly on the dark road, and when she was far enough, she sat down on the sidewalk and started sobbing, hugging her knees. Her siblings were too little to understand. Too small to realize that their mother was an useless and horrible person. She clenched her fists when thinking about her. She wanted to hit something, to scream, thinking about her and her dick of a boyfriend. They were making her feel _crazy_. The way that stupid asshole threw things around in _her_ house, making a mess of things. She couldn't stand it. She always confronted him, even if that meant she had to be careful not to get hit with a bottle of beer or punched right after. But she wasn't scared of him.  
  
She didn't know what to do. She couldn't go home and risk running into those two. She had no place to go... except... She shook her head. No. She checked the time. It was already past midnight. She couldn't... But she just needed someone. She _needed_ her warmth, she needed to take her mind off of things, even for a little while. She needed Casey's arms wrapped around her, and the words her grandmother said were resonating in her mind. She couldn't have realized they were more than friends... right?  
  
Through the tears, she pulled up her phone and tried to calm down before opening her conversation with Casey. Her vision was blurry, and she could barely see the keyboard. She thought about calling her, but ultimately decided to just send her a text. She was probably sleeping anyways.  
  
**Izzie: Hey**  
** Izzie: U up...?**  
  
She put her phone down, burying her face into her palms, wiping her tears away and swallowing the lump in her throat. Yeah, Casey was probably sleeping. It was so stupid of her to send her a text. She shook her head and got up, starting to run without a destination, wanting to clear her head.  
  
***  
  
Casey groaned, hearing her phone buzz on the night stand. She started searching for her phone in the dark, knocking over a few things, and then squinted when the light coming from it hurt her eyes. When they finally adjusted to the light, she noticed the two texts from Izzie. She frowned, feeling that something wasn't right. She knew her texting habits well, and she could easily tell that something was off.  
  
**_Casey: Are you okay??_**  
  
At first, there was no reply, and with each second she felt her heart beating harder in her chest. How dumb could she be, of course she wasn't ok. She could just feel it. She got out of bed, flipping the light switch on and shielding her eyes.  
  
"Son of a bitch." She muttered, stumbling around and searching for her hoodie. She finally found it and pulled it over her tank top, checking her phone while she put on her running shoes. She nervously bit her lip, waiting for her phone to vibrate and for the screen to light up, but it was taking way too long. Each second that passed made her even more worried, a strange feeling taking over her. Something was very wrong.  
  
Casey couldn't wait and do nothing any longer. She ran downstairs, jumping over the last few steps and hoping her dad wasn't awake to stop her from leaving. She scanned the living room, sighing in relief as no one seemed to be lurking downstairs, and then she picked up the keys to her mother's car. She tried to sneak out the door, before unexpectedly locking eyes with Elsa, who was just coming out of the kitchen. Casey wanted to open her mouth and say something, anything, she wanted to explain herself, but her mom noticed the worried look on her face and she immediately seemed to know what was going on.  
  
"Go." She mouthed silently with a nod, as Casey's face relaxed a bit, relieved. Casey closed the door behind her and got in the car, starting the engine, when she finally felt her phone buzz in her pocket.  
  
**Izzie: ...No. **  
** Izzie: I need you**  
  
Izzie sniffled. Her heart had skipped a beat when she felt her phone vibrate, and she didn't know why she had waited so long before texting Casey back. Part of her wanted to ask her if she could come over. She wanted to see her, but at the same time didn't want to intrude, even though Elsa and Casey both had told her that she was welcome any time. She shook her head and typed another text.  
  
**Izzie: ...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have texted you**  
** Izzie: I probably woke you up**  
  
She was about to tell her it was no big deal and that she should just go back to sleep, but Casey was faster to reply.  
  
**_Casey: Where are you?_ **  
  
** Izzie: Close to my grandma's, why?**  
  
_** Casey: Text me the location**_  
  
** Izzie: What??**  
  
Izzie raised her eyebrows, trying to read through her tears. She quickly sent her the location, confused. What was she up to?  
  
**_Casey: I'll be there in 10_**  
**_ Casey: Don't worry_**  
**_ Casey: You can stay over_**  
  
Izzie's eyes widened. There was no way that Casey was headed in her direction. No fucking way.  
  
**Izzie: Newton?? **  
** Izzie: Newton, what are you doing?**  
  
No reply. She just sighed and sat on the sidewalk, head in her hands. She pulled her hair up in a messy ponytail and crossed her arms, starting to shiver. It was cold outside, and it was now almost one in the morning. She checked her phone again, but Casey hadn't even opened her texts, so she quickly looked at the time. Five minutes have passed. Casey was fast, but she couldn't get that quickly to her grandmother's neighbourhood... unless... Izzie suddenly realized it. There was no way Casey had taken her mother's car at 1 in the morning.  
  
***  
  
When Casey pulled over, she saw Izzie staying on the side of the road, raising her head at the sound of her engine. Izzie wiped off her tears, trying her best to greet her girlfriend with a smile, as Casey quickly got out of the car and ran towards her, wrapping her arms around her tightly.  
  
"My God, Iz, you're freezing." Casey's eyes widened, and she took off her hoodie and put it on the smaller girl, who was a shivering mess. She was left only in her tank top, but she didn't mind the cold. All she cared about was making Izzie feel better. Her eyes got bigger when she saw Izzie break down crying, and she hugged her tightly, feeling her hot tears on her arm as the brunette buried her head in it. Her shoulders were shaking with every sob. Casey started whispering in her ear, trying to calm her down, holding her even tighter, and in that moment she hated Izzie's mom and her boyfriend more than ever.  
  
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here, Iz."  
  
Casey was stroking her hair, tugging loose strands behind her ear and kissing her forehead, feeling Izzie grab at her and hold her as if she was her last resort. Which she probably was.  
  
"Fuck, Newton, I thought I had calmed down..." She said through sobs, forcing a chuckle, before pulling away for a bit to look Casey in the eyes, seeing the worry in them. "I'm okay." She wasn't. "Thanks for the hoodie." She bit her lip and looked down, fiddling with the long sleeves and pulling them over her cold hands.  
  
"Come on, let's get in the car, it's cold." Casey noticed and she opened the door for her. She then slumped into the driver's seat, starting the engine and the heat, and then she sighed loudly, running her hands through her short hair. "I'm going to have to kill them."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your mom and her boyfriend. I swear to God. Or at least punch them. Real good." Casey took Izzie's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers before looking into her eyes. "Hey. Let's get out of here. Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 is up now!  
I have another 2 Cazzie one shots in the works right now, so let me know if you liked this and maybe if you wanna read any more Cazzie stuff?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Izzie arrive home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and the support on the first part, and sorry for not replying to them all!
> 
> Here's the second part, as promised! Hope you enjoy! I accidentally deleted the edits and had to go over it again so it took longer than I expected.

Casey furrowed her brows when they got home, noticing that the lights were on in the kitchen and living room. They got out of the car, and Casey's hand reached for Izzie's again. They walked through the door, seeing Elsa almost falling asleep in the living room.  
  
"Elsa?" Casey startled her, and her mom quickly walked over to them, pulling both of them into a tight hug. The taller girl seemed uncomfortable at first, but she hugged back, looking away.  
  
"I was so worried! I'm glad you're alright."  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Gardner..." Izzie's voice was tired and almost inaudible, but Casey's mom just sighed and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She could tell the girl had been crying, her eyes were red and puffy, and Izzie sniffled a bit. Over the past few months, Elsa had been more of a mother to her than her birth giver had ever been. "I'm so sorry for-"  
  
"It's okay, sweetie." Casey sometimes hated her mom for obvious reasons, but she had to admit, she was grateful for how she was handling this kind of situations and even for how involved she got, although sometimes that got on her nerves. And, truth be told, she had been the first person to encourage her to pursue her feelings for Izzie, even if she was being extremely annoying most of the time. Casey was truly warming up to her mother again.  
  
"Thank you for letting me borrow the car at 1 in the morning." Elsa smiled and took the keys from Casey's free hand, noticing that the two girls were still holding hands. She studied Casey's outfit and realized her hoodie was now on Izzie, her daughter only in her loose tank top. She was proud of her.  
  
"No problem, honey bear. Now go upstairs, both of you." They nodded and started going up the stairs, but stopped when they heard Elsa's voice again. "There's two mugs of hot chocolate on the night stand. I thought you were going to be cold, it's pretty chilly outside. Oh, and Izzie, I left a pair of clean pajamas on Casey's bed for you. That if you don't want to sleep in Casey's hoodie-"  
  
"Mom!" Casey groaned, pulling Izzie upstairs, as her girlfriend thanked her mother with a weak smile. Elsa just nodded in response and went on to close the lights downstairs.  
  
The two girls entered Casey's room and silently closed the door, trying not to make too much noise. They didn't want to wake Sam up. They noticed the mugs and sat on the side of the bed, Izzie taking one in her cold hands, feeling the warmth radiate from it. The girls finished the hot chocolate in silence, and Casey moved closer to Izzie, placing a tender kiss on her forehead and wrapping her arms around her. She brushed her nose against her cheek, closing her eyes.  
  
"Newton."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Izzie turned around and cupped her cheek, pressing her lips to Casey's. A single tear rolled down her cheek and ended up on her lips, melting into the kiss. She felt Casey's thumb wipe the underside of her eye, and they pulled away for a second, neither of them opening their eyes.

"Wanna talk about it?" Izzie shook her head. "Okay."

"I just wish that sometimes this would all just... stop." The only time that the world stopped for her was when she was with Casey. That's when she felt that she could just detach herself from the world, living inside a bubble. 

She traced the outline of Casey's lips with her thumb, leaning in to brush her lips with her own. She breathed in deeply, before finally closing the gap between them. She just wanted it all to stop. And it felt so good. Izzie started breathing harder, desperate to feel more of Casey, trying to hold in her tears as she deepened the kiss. She needed her. She didn't even know in what way she needed her, but she just knew that she did. She wanted to be wrapped up in her arms forever. Her arms were her shelter.  
  
"No, no, no, Iz..." Casey breathed out when she noticed the tears flowing down her face. The shorter girl hadn't even realized that she was crying.  
  
"No, don't stop." Izzie whispered, trying to ignore the tears streaming down her cheeks, pulling her girlfriend closer. A weird determination had taken over her, as she bit Casey's bottom lip and wrapped her arms around her neck, straddling her. She started grinding on Casey's lap and she buried a hand deep in her messy hair, clashing their lips together into a hot, fiery kiss. It took Casey a moment too long to realize what was happening, having no time to react when she felt Izzie press her tongue to the seam of her lips before diving into her mouth. She could taste the salty tears and she tried to pull away to talk to her, but Izzie didn't let her do so. Yeah, she needed her more than anything.  
  
Izzie only broke off the sloppy kiss to pull her hoodie and shirt over her head at the same time, exposing her bra, and Casey took advantage of that to cup her face with both hands and force her to look into her eyes.  
  
"Hey, Iz." She tried to ignore the rapid beating of her heart and focus on the tears that wouldn't stop flowing on her girlfriend's face. "Look at me."  
  
Izzie complied, and then she bit her lip, trying to keep herself from breaking down into sobs again, but she failed. She quickly buried her face in Casey's chest and cried, wrapping her arms tightly around her. She shook her head. No, she didn't want to feel this hopeless. She started kissing and sucking at Casey's collarbones, earning a slight groan from the taller girl, shortly followed by a sudden gasp. She grabbed a hand of Casey's and placed it over her bare stomach, guiding it up her torso and practically encouraging her to touch her chest. Instead, Casey managed to lift her chin and kiss her sweetly.  
  
"Hey. Are you sure?"  
  
Izzie nodded.  
  
"I need you, Newton."  
  
"I know. I need you too but... you're not sure."

_How could she see right through her_?

She didn't want to face her emotions the healthy way, she just wanted to throw herself at Casey and just... forget. Ignore everything, ignore her tears, ignore the burning pain in her chest. Casey caressed her cheek.  
  
"No, I... You're right. I'm not sure." Izzie looked down, and then she got up and slumped on the bed next to Casey, only in her bra. It had only been a spur on the moment decision. And even though she wanted Casey, she wasn't sure that this was how she wanted their first time to be like. Not with her crying and trying to ignore the pain the situation with her mother was inflicting upon her.

Izzie nervously bit her lip and looked away. She shook her head and started apologizing.  
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." Izzie was interrupted by Casey, who tenderly caressed her cheek.  
  
"Hey. It's okay. I just... I want to make sure you're not just acting on instinct... I don't want you to regret any of this."  
  
"I couldn't regret anything that involves you." Izzie turned around and looked her straight in the eyes. "You're the best decision I ever made." Casey smiled at that. She could see the seriousness in Izzie's eyes. "I mean it."  
  
"You too." Because she was. Casey couldn't imagine not choosing Izzie. The intensity of what she felt for her was unlike any other thing she had experienced in her life.   
  
"But you're right. I... I want our first to be special. Like, really special. Not a crying girl throwing herself at you." She snorted and wiped off her tears, and Casey nodded. Sex wasn't what Izzie needed right now. It was emotional support. Casey just wrapped her arms around her, getting her to calm down more, as Izzie relaxed into the embrace. 

Her eyes widened when she realized she was still half naked, and her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, pulling away. She started scanning the room for the pajamas Elsa had mentioned earlier, and Casey caught her drift and scratched the back of her head, flustered.

"I should change..."

"Oh, yeah, I..."

Casey picked up the pajama shirt her mother had prepared for Izzie and handed it to her, clearing her throat. Izzie just nodded and mumbled a short "Thanks", turning around trying to take off her bra, but something stuck. 

_"Shit..."_ She muttered under her breath.

"Wait, come here." Casey bit her lip as Izzie turned her back to her and gave her access to her bra. "Is it okay if I...?" The girl gave her a slight nod. Casey unhooked her bra and stared at her bare back, before shaking her head and looking away.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem." God damn it, why was she acting so awkward when they have been dating for quite a while.  
  
As soon as Izzie pulled on the shirt, she pressed herself against Casey, taking a deep breath before kissing her and pushing her down onto the matress. It was all oddly non sexual. It was passionate and sweet. God... she was so in love with Izzie. Her eyes shot open as she realized that, and her girlfriend noticed.  
  
"What is it, Newton?"  
  
"N-nothing."  
  
"Come on..." Izzie laced their fingers together and she moved to rest her head on Casey's chest, finally letting herself calm down as she listened to the girl's heart beat. "You can tell me." Being this close, she noticed Casey's heart beating faster.  
  
"I... I kind of wanted to hold this for our first time but..." She chuckled softly, before taking in a deep breath. "I think I am in love with you." No. She _knew_ she was in love with her. Izzie's eyes widened, and a smile started spreading on her face, this time a truly genuine smile, showing her adorable dimples.  
  
"I love you too..."  
  
"Y-you do?" Casey's cheeks flushed pink, and she felt Izzie nuzzling in closer.  
  
"Yeah, nerd." She bit her bottom lip. "Thank you. For coming to pick me up from off the streets. And for cheering me up. I couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend."  
  
Casey's chest stung as she thought about it. Had she not offered her a place to stay, Izzie would have still been wondering the streets, unable to sleep at her grandma's or return home, where she didn't know if she would find the house empty or her mom and that dick of a man arguing and throwing empty bottles at each other, leaving the carpet full of glass shards. No, that wasn't her home. Home was in Casey's room, in her pajamas, carefully washed and ironed by Elsa, waiting for her on the side of the bed. Home was under Casey's blanket, in Casey's arms.  
  
Casey stretched her arm and flipped the light switch off, and darkness enveloped the room. Izzie slowly felt the tears dry on her cheeks, as she could finally allow herself to smile. She felt at peace. She tugged at Casey's tank top, snuggling in closer. What did she do to deserve her? She had been a dick to her and even though she had apologized so many times, she still felt that Casey was too good and solid and wonderful for someone like her.  
  
"Good night, honey bear." She mimicked Elsa, and the pair chuckled, brushing noses, breathing each other in.  
  
"G'nite." Casey pecked her lips. How had she been able to sleep without Izzie every night? She felt... complete. It felt right. So right.

They shifted positions, snuggling in closer, when Casey suddenly felt a slight pain in her scalp. She sighed loudly.

"Dude... I love you but you're on my hair."

No answer.

"Dude, you're on my hair..."

She groaned. Izzie was probably asleep.

"You're on my... _Forget it."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the previous chapter's notes, I have some more Cazzie in the works, so I miiiight post soon another one shot maybe? 🤔
> 
> If you have any Cazzie prompts and ideas I'd love to hear them out!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for reading and commenting!
> 
> As promised, I wrote another Cazzie fanfic and I will be posting all Atypical fics I write into a series, if you wanna check it out maybe.


End file.
